The Mayan Calendar Debaucle
This December 21, 2012 marks the end of the world according to the Mayan Calendar and some Republicans you may talk to. For those of you unfamiliar with this concept, the Mayan Calendar predicts that the world will on December 21, 2012, or 122112. It’s like the lamest binary code of the apocalypse ever made. I personally don’t think the world is coming to an end on December 21. It’s all just a misunderstanding.
In my very “humbled” opinion the end of the world issue was drafted when the Calendars of the Mayans were stiffed their annual raises, which they predicted on a yearly basis. The elders of the tribes decided that it would wiser to spend more their Sacrificial budgets rather than the Calendars. Of course this caused friction, which led to unions going on strike, and the Calendars coming to a screeching halt, when? Yes, December 21, 2012. So you see, the calendar didn’t end, it merely stopped, and the issued of the Calendar budget was never solved. Because their squabbles, the Mayans were able to predict the coming of the Conquistadors and then were all wiped out, leaving behind only the fear of what happens next and how will we go on from December 22, 2012.
So some of you are asking yourselves, “Well, Krish, if the apocalypse doesn’t come with the Mayans, then what? Zombies? Vampires? Women not spending money on shoes (#amIrightfellas)?” You’d be wrong all accounts and sexist on at least one. The end of world will come when Keith Richards dies. Whatever is keep the highly talented, but old, guitarist of the Rolling Stones alive can’t be all that good. When he dies all that is in him will be unleashed throughout the world and when I hear that Mr. Richards has passed at the age of 199, I will be rushing to atone for my sins in Church, a Synagogue, a Temple, a Mosque, the first season of Oprah, for I have many sins to atone for. So for the sake of humanity lets hope that the Rolling Stone’s next farewell tour doesn’t end on December 21, 2012.