The Religious Debates

There’s always a debate over religion and various offshoots of religion, like the Catholics and Christians and the Baptists. There’s always a battle between those folks as to who’s book is the right book. But if you look at the religions at the core they all worship the same person…Mel Gibson. All this fighting has Mel go off his rocker, as we have seen the past few years and because of this there will be no Lethal Weapon 5.

Now a lot of people may say, “What makes you think you know my religion, buddy boy?” I did attend a Catholic Mass back in college, and boy do you guys love singing. I thought I was at a Concert. I started the wave, lit a lighter, and started a mosh pit. The older women did not appreciate the slow moshing in the pews. The point at which I felt really alone is during Communion. People just went up to get their holy crackers with a smug attitude, calling me a heathen. I have one complaint about this other than the Holy Smugness; what is wrong with those crackers? They seem so thin and brittle. Can’t God afford some Ritz Crackers or Townhouse? Or they could use a Flip Side Cracker, because the one side could be the Old Testament and then you flip the cracker and then you’re on the new book!

Now my parents are playing a large practical joke on me, by naming me after 2 Hindu Gods; Rama & Krishna. Now Krishna was essential just a pimp. His Gopis were his female followers that were basically in love with him. That doesn’t happen to me! He had hoards of women and I can’t even hold on to one! Rama killed a demon. That is not going to happen. I feel awful when I run over a rabbit on the road. Despite the fact, that when I kill one, there’s about 5 more being made. But I’m no demon killer. If I’m at a coffee shop and a demon shows up, I’m doing everything in my power to get the hell out of there. I’m throwing old women, babies, and even the coffee at it as distractions for me to get out safely.