Tragedy hits America, as George Zimmer the owner and Executive Board Member of Men’s Warehouse, has been let go. You may ask, why is so tragic? Because he’s that guy that says “You’re gonna like the way you look, I guarantee it” in the Men’s Warehouse commercials! American self-esteem is going to take a huge hit with this man gone and not guaranteeing my aesthetically pleasing features, like my suit, tie and slacks that I bought at a discounted price!
With this of course other brand mascots are in fear that they may lose their jobs and their quippy catch phrases.
“They can’t let me go! I’ve done so much for this company. I fought a lion! A real life Lion! I grew a very itchy beard” ~The Most Interesting Man in World.
“I’ve pulled Double, Triple and even Quadruple shifts in that weird warehouse with no doors! If they let me go I’ll find a way to burn that place to the ground” ~Flo, the most Progressive Sales Clerk.
“I literally keep the Earth warm and away from a nuclear winter!”~The Sun from Jimmy Dean’s.
Zimmer was not only the face of the brand but also the CEO. Disputes within the company’s direction had him let go as the Founder and Executive Member of the Board. Which has make people wonder, what the hell is this board up to? Why fire their Founder, who is the epitome of the American Dream? Perhaps he was getting to close to the truth of getting rid of the variety of colors they offer and only selling Black, White and Shades of Grey suits in the store! Thus controlling the way you look and forcing you like it! Oh god, I know the truth now! I have to go find my suits! Dear god no, they’ve got my suits! I don’t like the way I look! I don’t like the way I look!