To Be Racist, Just Add Butter

I once sat down at a coffee shop and a man walked up to me and said “The South Will Rise again!” I looked at this man and said, “Uh, no it won’t. Remember when Lincoln happened? That’s why it won’t rise again. Now silence yourself before I press my Black Panthers call button!” But it sounds like Paula Deen in all her buttery diabetic goodness is on this crazy man’s side as she’s recent caught some heat for using the N-Word at one of her black staff members. Sure Deen has come out and apologized, but not in the manner that one really feels sorry for what they’ve done. It’s more in the vain of “Hey, I got black people working in my restaurant! So it’s all good! Right?” God, no! Why the hell would you think that?

But the Racism Back-Paddling Hole doesn’t stop there. She came out and talked about her ancestor that committed suicide after the end of the Civil War when he lost 31 of his Slaves. What?! Morose, Overly Dramatic, Teens have had better reasons to commit suicide than this guy! The Aztecs have had better reasons to have ritualistic suicides in their culture that have been validated more effectively than this cat’s reasons. “Oh no, I lost owning human beings. What to do now? I suppose I can take this musket and end my now meaningless life, if I can’t whip people who are different than me. Here I come Jesus!” Good, you know what I’m glad that dude killed himself because he sounds like he had no actual skills to be a functioning member of society. He was the racist equivalent of a kid that graduated with a Communication degree.

Furthermore, she goes on to day that the South is less prejudice since Black folk were such an integral part of that culture and life. NOT BY CHOICE! They were’nt hanging out in Africa and said, “Natumbye, do you think there’s a race of people who lack culture and farming skills that perhaps we should aid in. And in return we to not learn how to read, live in a shack and eventually start a Civil War?” No! They were pretty ransacked by the settlers and brought over to the US. Being an integral part of society means they wanted to be there and there’s some sort of cultural symbiosis. The bird that picks bugs from the elephant’s back isn’t forced into doing it, but rather chooses to do it because it like picking bugs of an elephant. And in return, the Elephant provides protection and food for the bird. I don’t think Paula Deen understands how slavery really worked. Can someone give her a history book rather than a cookbook!

Worse than Paula’s blatant misunderstand of how Slavery worked and how the Civil War is the #1 cause of Slave Owner suicide, is her fans who are defending her! Look everyone is racist to a degree, but this is not only racist but ignorant to justify that you’re not racist by saying even crazier things! We do in an overly Political Correct society but this situation is not in that category. Paula, dear, you can’t claim that you’re not racists because you have Black “Friends”, because really you don’t have Black Friends, you have people whom you employ who also turn out be black. So I hope South rises against Paula Deen to tell her how history really happened and why she say crazy things justify using the N-Word. I also hope the Butter Industry rises up against Paula for giving it a bad name too.