Martin Luther King Jr. Day is upon us and the United States celebrates by taking a day off and relaxing. Really this day should be filled parades, an overabundance of cake and of course constant screenings of the movie ‘X’ starring Denzel Washington! This day should be a day off for everyone, considering that MLK was a great civil rights leader, but he’d always take his birthday off. So everyone, especially black people should get MLK Jr. Day off.
In that same respect, Indians (as in the folks from India) should have Columbus Day off, that dude was looking us! As he landed on the shores of this country and looked out there and said “There they are…Indians…that’s it…Indians!”
There had to be someone that said “Hey, Chris, buddy…Uh…I don’t think those are Indians. Those guys are way more naked that the paintings suggest and they don’t even have spices, just an odd yellow vegetable. Maybe we should turn around.”
Columbus retorted, mainly so he wouldn’t look like an ass in front of 3 giant boats the King of Spain paid for, “Nonsense! Those are Indians. That’s what a spice is supposed to look like. Now get out and give them our syphilis!”
A tradition I carry for Columbus Day is finding a Latino gent, and giving him a spice and then taking his money.
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Now the Latino community should get a day off as well. Ponce De Leon Friday or The Fountain of Youth Day, which would be celebrated in April. This would involve parades, water gun fights and the Latin Youth acting as adults to make it the most adorable of all holidays. The day would be capped off with Latin folk giving their Caucasian friends, chocolate fountains as a gift to say “Hey, it’s all good bro, we’re going to keep 3 of the states that really belonged to Mexico in the first place.”
Now there’s the dream Dr. King was talking about.