The Death of Too Soon

Too Soon used to be a phrase that was held in high regard. So much so that when the Lincoln was shot and a few months later the news made around the country, and a white man uttered “Well I hope it was the part of his brain that thought up the Emancipation Proclamation”, the phrase “Too Soon” was there to make sure that sort of crap was kept out of society.When JFK got shot, there was a woman in far northern plains that said “Now that’s some brain chowdah right there,” “Too Soon” came to the rescue to make sure her image of the suburban house wife would be kept safe. When someone tried to kill Regan, and a man in his truck made a joke about greatest role he ever got was a nearly dead president, “Too Soon” was there to make sure he knew that didn’t make sense. Damn, Too Soon has been around for a lot of presidents getting shot.

In today’s instant gratification society, “Too Soon” has officially died. With the death of any celebrity we see surge of jokes the second it his Huffington Post or CNN or any news outlet. When Fast & the Furious’ Paul Walker died, twitter and Facebook was onslaughted with jokes like “I guess things got a 2 Fast & 2 Furious for him”. No it didn’t, your comment was just 2 Dumb and 2 unappreciative. When Philip Seymour Hoffman died it was the time of Super Bowl and comments talked about how the “Broncos looked deader than Hoffman” No they didn’t. They were a live team running around the field, not found deceased in their apartment from a addiction they asked for help from. There’s no real point to these terrible eulogies written in 140 characters or less.

Too Soon didn’t get any glory when it died. It didn’t even get a tweet or a status update. Too Soon was just left in the bottom of the pool as a bloated corpse, with a line in the obituaries reading “Gone Too Soon”