As a foreign gentleman in the United States, I’m always surprised at the new, creative terms and ideas that come out of racists. Even as a kid, growing up in this country I was made privy to how creative these racists can get. Sure, every racist called me cheap, and said that I must be good at computers, but some of the things have no stereotypical context behind them at all. One of the most popular sayings I’d get is, “Don’t touch him, he’s covered in germs!” It is quiet astute of these kids to realize that germs don’t a passport or visa to cross borders, but are we all covered in germs. It’s basic science really. Germs aren’t selective of the where they go based on geography, because germs don’t care what skin color you are. It’s more about destroying your biology. It’s not like the Swine Flu said, “Hey let’s skip the states huh? Those people are always so clean and pure. Besides they got that really tough Germ Warfare department and I don’t want to take my shoes off before destroying the immune system of person!”
I also used to get “Don’t touch him or the color will rub off on you!” What shitty 5th watercolor, finger painting do they think I was made of?! If I were a painting, I’d be a rich vibrant Monet or a Manet, depending of how pretentious I was feeling that day. Usually it was the white kids that would say this sort of stuff. Besides they should be excited about having some color rub off them. They’ll finally be able to go into the sunlight without igniting or turning into a lobster the following day. It was always odd to me when the black kids would say that to me. Not only was it racist but it was also very confusing! It was the like the same principle of how native jungle people think cameras will steal your soul. Perhaps they just believed that I was trying to rob them of their skin color.
Even though these guys don’t fully under that race isn’t about but more about culture and who you are, we do have a lesson to take away from all this. In this day and age the racists and their racism is just a diverse and different as the people they discriminate against, proving that we are all in fact snowflakes in the wintery gust of life.
Krish Mohan is a socially conscious, Indian standup comedian and writer who regularly tours the country. He performs at small theaters, bars, comedy clubs, colleges, DIY and house venues. With his quirky attitude, charming personality, and intelligent humor, Krish captivates and engages audiences of all backgrounds, tackling hot button topics like race, religion, war, immigration, while adding an optimistic, philosophical & sociological twist!