We all waited in bated breath as Donald Trump’s choices for his Cabinet was released. And yes it’s as bad as we thought it would be. Let’s start with the easy to swallow shit first. We have Reince Prebuis, former chair of the RNC and 3 time winner of the ‘Most Pretentious Name in America’ award, as the White House Chief of Staff. The anti-establishment President picks the most establishment person from the GOP to add his Cabinet. Boy this must’ve been a blow to his ego, but it true Donald Form he showed Establishment Politics what he thinks by appointing Steve Bannon, of Breitbart, as the Chief Strategist! Without this pick that vocal 30% of Trump Supporters would’ve joined those protesters on the college campuses. Betrayed and Lied to, they would begrudgingly take off their camo-jackets and put on a pair of skinny jeans.
Bannon is the CEO of the alt-Right newspaper (I’m using this term loosely) Brietbart. The target market for which is White Nationalists and Anti-Semites. This is a classic Trump move! Is anyone else tired of the ultra-conservative fringe groups taking on cute names to make themselves sound deceptively nicer? Alt Right sounds like a new genre of Rock music until they start singing about the Jew Gold and the Black Illuminati that controls the Jew Gold. White Nationalists sounds like it’s a Frat House that really cares about American values, until they add “Grab Them By the Pussy” as their by line. Even the KKK tries to be cute with it’s alliteration. They try to claim they are DIY with their homemade ghost costumes and crosses, but then they speak and everyone goes, “What? That’s not socially ok and neither is it Environmentally friendly. And you guys have Mexican Dirt Weed! That’s embarrassing for y’all on so many fronts, especially on the Straight Edge one!”
He’s also lined up Jeff Sessions to be Attorney General! Now Sessions has a lot of racial allegations against him. Mainly calling the ACLU communist and saying the NAACP is Un-American…oh and referring to a the only Black Political Aide in Alabama as ‘boy’ and dropping the N-Bomb just because it’s a Tuesday! Sessions claims that his character is being smeared by these race allegations. Well the Devil’s greatest trick was convince you that he doesn’t exist and that’s exactly what Mr. Sessions is doing. He claims he’s for Civil Right because he allowed rallies and marches in his state. That’s nice, Jeffey. But if you were really for Civil Rights you would’ve made sure those Black Activists in the 60s, who looking for equality, weren’t attacked by hoses and German Shepards.
Side note: If you’re going to use dogs to attack Civil Rights Activists you probably shouldn’t use GERMAN Shepards. Historically Germans haven’t been a great connotation around Civil Rights. It’s a little too on the nose! In fact they’ve worked really hard to make sure that their name doesn’t get dragged through the mud on that subject again and you guys are fuckin’ that up! Maybe you can train a Yorkie to attack Activists. No one would see that shit coming.
Look if Jeff Sessions wants to be considered a rational conservative (and there a few of them out there, I’ve met 7), then maybe getting awards from Anti-Muslim groups like David Horowitz Freedom Center & Center for Security Policy, who gave him the “Keeper of the Flame” award! That’s not a good connotation. If you want to move away from mainstream racist and hate groups, you shouldn’t accept anything associated with Flames or Pyrotechnics. It really hurts the ‘not racist’ angle you’re going for Jeffey!
Sessions also claims a lot of what he says is playing Devil’s Advocate and he likes to engage in repartee. Sure that’s fine. But consider us bringing your legislative history, bigoted statements and the events you attended for hate groups as “playing Devil’s Advocate” and witty factual repartee.
Donald has lined up King of Stop N Frisk, Rudy Guliani in the running for Secretary of State. Yes, that’s really going to help the relations with the minority community…picking the guy that made being Black as reasonable doubt. But Donald also has Nikki Haley in the running. It’s important to pick someone that ended racism in South Carolina to try to end it in across the US. Once Nikki Haley was their Governor, Klansman ran outta there! Oh wait, no they didn’t! They just decided to fight for the Confederate Flag even harder! If that’s her idea of ending racism, we’re in big trouble. Someone get Nikki a history book to educate her on what Global Racism looks like. That’s like Bobby Jindal saying he’s for education and science by building a Creationism museum, defunding education and endorsing book burnings. Both of them are an embarrassment to all the minorities out there. Also Nikki Haley should wear a cup if she’s going to accept the job.
Donald’s choices for the EPA are a Climate Skeptic scientist and 2 different Bush era advisors! So our choices are “God’s mad that the queers got married, so we all have to burn!” or “98% of scientists are dumb! I have 4 degrees and a whiter coat than everyone! Now where’s that snowball I have to take into Congress in January!” If this is what we have to work with, we should hope that our Sun sends a Solar Flare to the White House on January 21st.
This is only the small list of mostly bad choices for Civil Rights and Equality. These choices are so bad that I’m considering no longer being Pro-Choice.
Ok, so what now? There are already a ton of protests erupting all across the country against the Trump election. I’m all for protests, but I think we’re kinda missing that point. I think Trump is the wake up call this country needs right now. A lot of us have been a sleep and fine with ‘business as usual’. Any zombie movie or show starts with the main character waking up from nap, hibernation or coma to a world that’s gone to hell. Well maybe if they were awake they could’ve done something to prevent all the brain eating and breakdown of civilization! So this is what we get when a majority of us have been asleep. So now that we’re up let’s figure out how deal with this and how to not repeat the same mistakes again.
So really what we should protest is his choices! Can we line up outside government buildings with super graphic images of the Earth exploding, slavery and money burning? That might at least give these guys nightmares! His Cabinet is lined up with the most fragile of China. So fragile that when someone calls them out on their bullshit the only they can do is cry and whine about it. For reference, see Hamilton!
“Hey would you like to consider the rights of minorities in this country?”
“How dare you assault me!? Apologize!!”
That’s one small crack to really old plate with a floral pattern and gold trim, desperately trying to cling to it’s masculinity.
Look the fact is, the state of this country wouldn’t have been any different with a Hillary Presidency. The racism and sexism would still persist. If Liberals didn’t realize that “1953 sure was swell” when Trump got elected, the old heads in this country aren’t going to think Black people are cool and women deserve equality. Plus the TPP will be in full effect and at that point we’d heading into a dystopian future, where we’d all be grainy and in black and white!
So we now have to fight, but fight smart. Burning effigies and shouting isn’t a way to do it. Protestors will only be called disrupters and Donald can call them whiny. Bring you knowledge to the game. We have knowledge of the people he’s about to appoint and we know their patterns of making laws. We can stay ahead of their game and ready to strike. Our choices don’t have be as blundered as Ol’ Donnie’s. Maybe we can get some better plates for their cabinets. Ones that aren’t going to crack at every small thing, and is actually strong enough to take on the problems of this country and fix them.
Krish Mohan is a socially conscious, Indian standup comedian and writer who regularly tours the country. He performs at small theaters, bars, comedy clubs, colleges, DIY and house venues. With his quirky attitude, charming personality, and intelligent humor, Krish captivates and engages audiences of all backgrounds, tackling hot button topics like race, religion, war, immigration, while adding an optimistic, philosophical & sociological twist!