Hyper-masculinity could be described as Bros that could’ve used a hug. Men don’t get hugs. Unless it’s bear hugs. Men can hug when it’s culturally appropriated from an animal and can kill. Hyper-masculinity is described as a psychological condition for the exaggerations of male stereotypes. These stereotypes have contributed to issues that we have seen and now are confronting in society.
The stereotypes in Hyper-masculinity lead to limiting definitions of what a man is. Within the context of Hyper-masculinity men are the providers, protectors and procreators. Shane Horsburgh addresses these ideas pretty early in his TED Talk. So basically that’s jobs, guns and fuckin’! Combine all 3 and your the top dog, alpha male! So that means that gun-toting male prostitutes are the alpha-iest of alpha males! The ones that legends of Hyper-masculinity speak of. The ones that movies like Rambo and Die Hard have tried to emulate.
For that matter it limits the definitions of what women can be. With restrictive definitions of what is a man, it also ensures what a man isn’t. Men cannot show emotions of love, grief or fear. Those are reserved for the females. They can hug without killing. But if a female hugs a man, she’s risking her life because of that restrictive killer hug rule we discussed earlier.
Things are restrictive even in what men and women wear. Joan of Arc is a prime example of these restrictive ideologies in full effect. Joan of Arc was a French hero! She was thought to be a prophetic figure that was supposed to bring France to glory in the 1400s and the Coronation of King Charles.
This makes total sense. French crowns are very decadent and shiny with their jewels and gold. So the Coronation of a real man can only from a woman’s love of shiny shit, since that was the common thought of the day. It’s either that or a monkey could also do it considering they also like shiny shit. But monkeys don’t live in France. Too much turbulence. Despite the challenge of gender stereotypes of the day, Joan of Arc was very confident she would lead the French to victory because she had spoken to the Lord and they said it was cool.
She also cut her hair and dressed like a man in the heat of battle. When she was executed, she was accused of heresy, witchcraft and dressing like a man among 70 other things! Heresy and witchcraft was because she claimed she could talk to God. And at that point, the belief was that women’s ears were to weak to hear the voice of God. A big booming eatherial figure speaking to the dainty soft ears of woman was sure to destroy her and leave 2 smoldering breasts in the wake!
The fact that dressing like a man was a crime is peculiar! In fact it was declining those allegations that signed her death warrant. She denounced her divinity, effectively breaking up with God! God took it pretty hard and hasn’t been seen since! But she would not denounce the clothing. The English wouldn’t have it, because they wear the pants in this Authoritarian Imperialist Global Domination! So they burned her…at the stake. Which I doubt God was happy about.
Now I think Joan of Arc was trying to spare the egos of men. If the English soldiers were beaten by a warrior in a frilly dress, a corset and a gorgeous pony, they all would’ve probably gone insane. Women are fragile bringers of life and need to be protected so when that life makes its way out into the world, men can destroy that life. Usually these are the men that all about preserving and protecting the sanctity of life…so they can destroy it. Hence our society’s current obsession with never-ending war. But the egos of hyper-masculinity are so fragile that in order to preserve their tight stereotypical roles they had to make sure she was killed.
And a major of part of the issues in hyper-masculine behavior is the size and fragility of the male ego. The hyper-masculine ego is like a frozen ocean. Its vast, ever expanding and it’s trapping a lot of shit below the surface. One crack and the whole thing crumbles and we’re left wet and struggling in the water because no one taught these men how to swim. Learning shit is also feminine! You can’t kill with a book.
This ego is an inhibitor. The ego is what drives the competition within these stereotypical gender roles. And the only thing this ego is trying to prove is that it’s worth something to other men doing the same thing. Scrutiny from other men is a major flaw of Hyper-masculinity. It only creates a feedback loop and inhibits these men from forming real relationships. This scrutiny is what makes these men look at women as conquests instead of people. They don’t want a partner that they become a better person with, they want that trophy wife. Gilded on a mantle to show of the other men in their group. A Crown to look pretty and nothing more.
This competitive behavior is what leads to misogyny, homophobia and racism from these Hyper-masculine men. Dudes are already competing with dudes. Who’s got the hotter wife, or the biggest car, thereby the smallest dick. Who can bench the most or who’s got the most money. The winners of these contest get the Alpha male of the group and get to shoot their guns off during sex. That’s the law of the Hyper-Masculine Tribe. These are old rituals that need to be followed to appease God, who to them is a super ripped dude banging broads whether they want it or not.
So when we add women, minorities or the LGBTQ community into mix, that’s more competition for men who are already competing with each other. Hypermasculinity is just exhausted from competing with itself. The vastness of their egos will always be bigger their own dicks.
Losing these competitions means they are not providers, protectors or procreators. It means they don’t have power and that is the crux of being a man! Power! Now the manliest of all men, the ones that prophecy of brodom speak of is one a man that generate enough power from one flex of his muscle to power a whole city.
But power is important for Hypermasculinity to wield over other groups like women, minorities and the LGBTQ communities. Because of Slavery, Black men were seen as helpless; Irish & Italians were seen as too emotional and passionate; Jews were too bookish; Asians were too soft and brittle. Women were of course property, proven by the poetry of “Bitches be shoppin”.
But in order to deviate from sympathy, because men don’t do that, they had to show their dominance with hypocritical arguments. Black men were helplessly vandalizing women; women were carnal and need to be sheltered from this animalistic behavior; gays were sexually insatiable and there’s only room for loving & fucking God; Asians were torturers and having a valid drivers license their tool for it; Southern Europeans were pervs and sexual predators. Only the white Anglo Saxon male was pure in stoicism, middle class work ethic and blue jeans that will eventually be sung about in a Bruce Springsteen song.
Stoicism is how this power is wielded. Even though these men are supposed to aggressive risk-takers they have push the anger down. Hyper-masculinity is so bad that it’s oppressing anger! All of this is driven by fear. Fear that the ocean of ego will crumble and all that’s left is a hurricane of repressed emotions, the need for hugs and the entire Adele collection!
And if that’s the case then nobody will want to procreate with them, they can’t protect or provide for anyone and not only is that embarrassing it leaves them without a sense of purpose for what they’re supposed to be. That’s a huge revelation about Hyper-Masculinity. Embarrassment is the biggest weakness. Most women fear rape, murder and the inability to lose 5 pounds. Men are afraid that the secrets of liking “Unmasculine things” will surface. That’s actually what Kyrptonite does to Superman. It reveals his love for knitting and he has no option but to start killing himself from the inside out.
Hypermasculinity’s restrictive definition of what men are and should be leads to more anger, silence and violence. These rules inhibit a person from realizing who they truly are, what they love and the ability to show that love. The idea that men have to adhere to these roles and they’re incharge, ignores their humanity and their emotions. It puts them to act as if they are beyond human, perhaps a God. Like the cool Greek ones, with Abs and lightning bolts, not the pansy Hindu ones that read and talk about education and love.
And being a God is exhausting. It’s slightly less exhausting than competing with your own ego. But God is tired. That’s why God is always talking to people to do his bidding. They don’t want to keep magicing things for us. They want to us to be able to take care of each other so the Lord can retire in a some far away Fibonacci Sequence.
Hyper-masculinity is perpetuated by hyper-femininity which falls into the same category of restrictive rules. There are women that want the Hyper-masculine guys. They still want to be taken care of, be seen as the fragile bringers of life that need to be protected and these men are going to do that. They are more keen on physical prowess than intellect, problem solving skills, empathy and emotional balance.
And part of the discussion and the limitations of these restrictive rules is the physical vs. the Brain. There’s a major pushback to intellect and I plan on talking more about anti-intellectualism in a future episode. But the value of physical power over the mental is age old argument. Hyper-masculinity doesn’t care about working smarter, as long as you work harder there’s still a purpose for you within the confines of its rules and stereotypes.
But it’s hard to get Hyper-masculine dudes to see the negative effects of stoicism, aggression, competition and devaluing other people to try to add value to yourself without really knowing yourself. That frozen ocean of ego breaks, that water is a shock to the system and can lead to just more aggression. They punch the water and that doesn’t do anything. You have to ease the transition. It’s like going into the pool. It’s foot at a time and then eventually you can go all way under water and get a new perspective.
And this is where the MeToo Movement comes in. This is probably one of the powerful movements against hyper-masculinity at this point. It has the potential to educate and change gender stereotypes for the next generation.
But my concern with the movement is the direction it will take. I think we should be aware of the severity of punishment based on the misuse of masculinity and the power derived from it. At the moment it seems like we’re drowning everyone and that’s not really fair. Teach them to swim if you and if they are willing to learn.
Harvey Weinstein was a monster that was created by an overfed ego among other things. But Louis CK wasn’t. Now that doesn’t mean that I think what Louis was ok, I don’t. But the guy had a fetish that he didn’t know how to express it. Other men didn’t have that fetish and neither did they talk about it. He competed with other men and his ego and lost.
Louis is taking the time for personal growth. So is Al Franken but do these men need to have their lives destroyed like Weinstein? Do we need to Scorch the Earth with memories of semi decent dudes that made an error?
The same goes for Aziz. And look I’m not defending Aziz Ansaris actions. Everyone knows he’s made my Stand Up career harder since that’s all I get compared to. But he took a lady out on a horrendous date. But he apologized and she could’ve used verbal cues and then left. Be a badass like Joan Of Arc. You could’ve crowned him King Bad Date or the true Master of None!
And that story has the trapping of hyper-femininity that could send the MeToo movement in the wrong direction. The direction of shaming men for bad behavior, which leads to them retreating internally, getting angry and possibly violent. We can be educating them to be better about the latent hypermasculine tendencies that even tiny men like Aziz and pudgy dudes like Louis CK have.
But guys like Aziz and Louis fall into the traps of Hypermasculine conquests without even realizing it. Go out on a date where you treat the other person with some damn respect and not a receptacle for your sexual frustrations to high five your buddies over in a bar. Hotel rooms are for private and anonymus masturbations that are later revealed on a expose on Channel 4! Hopefully these men come back into light as better people that respect women and themselves a little more.
Women don’t need to be dainty flowers that are trapped all the time. The MeToo movement has proved that people are taking cases of sexual misconduct & abuse seriously. And that shitty behavior based on power and intimidation won’t be tolerated anymore. This movement is in its infancy. It can help redefine masculinity and help create a culture of acceptance instead of brutal competition that ends in physical and emotional wounds.
At moment it seems like it’s burning everyone down, but anger and repression aren’t taken of this way. So as much as I’m asking the MeToo movement to be empathetic and understanding to some of these men and forgive them, I’ll do the same for the movement. We all make mistakes and we all need some forgiveness so we can move forward and progress as a society for the betterment of ourselves and the planet.
This movement can teach men that they can redeem themselves through honesty, letting go of their ego and respecting those that are different than them. Maybe if God would open about how hard their break-up with Joan of Arc really was, hyper-masculine dudes wouldn’t see them as buff, kinda naked dude. Also atheists might believe you exist. The next generation needs to see that there is redemption for slip ups and what truly extreme behaviors look like. If not MeToo could slip into perpetuating the problem like hyper-femininity and that is going to lead to either no hugs or 100% death by hugs.
Krish Mohan is a socially conscious, Indian standup comedian and writer who regularly tours the country. He performs at small theaters, bars, comedy clubs, colleges, DIY and house venues. With his quirky attitude, charming personality, and intelligent humor, Krish captivates and engages audiences of all backgrounds, tackling hot button topics like race, religion, war, immigration, while adding an optimistic, philosophical & sociological twist!