It’s hard to ignore a revolution when it’s literally at your doorstep every single day and sometimes also burns down your Wendy’s or Targets. And really should we be that mad that a Wendy’s was burned down? We should’ve done that a long time ago, when we found out that Wendy wasn’t even a real red-head!
This massive movement we are seeing in our society stems from another Black Man that was murdered by the police. Right now there are calls to “Defund the Police” which has become a very controversial statement. Some folks fear the notion of defunding the police and radically changing the Criminal Justice & Law Enforcement systems. So they bring up the idea of Reform.
Recently the great Master Reformer, Joe Biden addressed this in a church, claiming that cops should aim for the leg. You guys remember when Jesus proclaimed from upon high “Sweep the leg! Then deliver justice!” So right now reforming the police is to maim citizens and leave them even more defenseless to police violence, or put them into medical debt.
Joe Biden is the kind of fisherman that doesn’t catch & release fish. But rather, he catches the fish, throws it back in the water with the hook attached and then drags around the lake for a few hours. That’s reformed fishing. That’ll punish that fish for the crime of, you know, bein’ a fish!
It’s not just Biden, the entire Establishment is guilty of fake reforms. The Republicans just stay silent on everything or have awful points of view, like “Maybe that person just shouldn’t be black!” The Republicans on a daily basis are proof that science is important and evolution isn’t for everyone. Some people are still neanderthals. Turns out they really didn’t go extinct, they just ran for office.
The Democrat’s Police Reform Bill went as far as to say chokeholds should be banned! No shit! Why were they a part of the training to begin with? That’s like coffee shops having a rule that says “Don’t dunk your genitals in the customers drinks!” And besides the NYPD banned chokeholds, but Daniel Pantaleo is still free after choking Eric Garner to death over absolutely nothing! Banning chokeholds is common sense! You shouldn’t get the Nobel peace prize for exhibiting basic kindergarten rules! These are bread crumbs, not reforms!
To really understand why reforming the police is an unviable option we have to look into the history of the police itself. The history of the police shows us for a fact that policing is a system designed for violence, particularly to keep the working class oppressed. It uses racism as its motivator.
Back in 1704, the Carolina colony started using deputized vigilantes as slave patrols to ensure that runaway slaves wouldn’t get far. This was done to help maintain economic order and assist wealthy landowners. And these deputized vigilantes were paid and in charge of recovering and punishing slaves. They felt justified because slaves were looked at as property not people.
This was basically like if Bruce Wayne decided to hire some unemployed factory workers in Gotham City, dressed them up as Batman and then sent them out to beat the shit out of other poor people, you know because he was sad and had to protect that wealth, because that’s the only way he feels love.
By the 1780s, Charleston, SC introduced a paramilitary force to control slaves. And at this point, the country was approaching industrialization and there was a general consensus that slavery was a concerning practice. I mean nobody stopped using slaves for like another 100 years, but a lot people were like “Boy this doesn’t feel right, but…you know, the economy. So carry on!” Sound familiar?
So fast forward to the 20th century, when we see cops protecting pipelines, corporations and gaudy mascots of a criminal economic system, they’re literally doing what their job was originated to be. When they say protect and serve, they mean protect the economy and serve the wealthy. Their job is more about protecting inanimate object and fictional things than it is about serving their community, because that’s their heritage.
And don’t worry the Yankees weren’t innocent in all this either. In New England there were “Indian Constables” who policed Native Americans. [SC 6] More than that they used privatized police forces to break strikes which the establishment and the economic elites called “rioting”. They were described as “Centralized body of men…legally authorized to use force to maintain order, it also provided the illusion that this order was being maintained under the rule of law, not at the whim of economic power”
These were the Pinkertons that were often hired in the 17 & 1800s to attack strikers with force to maintain order. Most of them were poor, out of work men that were either trying feed their families or get an education. This is also how the military industrial complex operates today. These guys were used to break strikes in Chicago, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and throughout the country and their conflicts almost always ended violently.
Fast forward to the 20th century, and you see American Police using chemical weapons that are banned by Geneva Conventions to maintain order. Tear gas is so awful that even the American Military won’t use it. Do you understand the level of psychopathy you have to achieve to use a weapon the American Military won’t use?! Those guys drone bombed a wedding and blamed the bride & groom! The cops feel justified because they’ve manufactured reasons to uphold order. They created their own boogeymen out of non-violent protests! To them the chants, songs, signs all have rhythm and as Gloria Estefan said “The Rhythm is gonna get you”
And it’s not that we haven’t tried real reform. And I’m not talking about going like legs like Jesus. In 1968 Police Chief Victor Cizanckas tried to changed the way people looked at the Menlo Park PD in California. He practiced some alternative ways of making the police look less aggressive. So not only was he hiring folks from more empathetic practices, but also removed the hardened look of the cops by changing the uniform.
Chief Cizanckas decided to go with a green Blazer with a patch instead of what we see today which is basically RoboCop on Casual Friday. Citizens were put at ease by the cops in Blazers, but some of them didn’t get recognize them as cops. So the officers were very upset about this. Their complaint was that they look like nerds and it’s a long know fact that cops have destroy nerds!
It’s called a transition. Like puberty. You don’t just go from adolescence to a fully functioning adult. We got through this awkward transition with includes random boners, random boob growth, pimples, strange smells, an array of vocal ranges and so many hormones. And it can be said that some people get stuck there and never really grow out of this phase. You know the people that peak in high school and then become police officers because they’re cool.
Now Cizanckas’ reformation was so wildly unpopular with cops, that 75% of the Menlo Park PD quit. Soon after he was transferred to Stanford, CT. The Blazers didn’t make the cops less violent. It didn’t stop them from brutalizing citizens, but rather just appear as if they don’t, because they looked like nerds. It looked like they were going to sell you a timeshare. If the Menlo Park PD did brutalize a protester, people would be confused if it was a cop or a HR rep!
Former Presidential Candidate Andrew Yang suggested that we change the name to the Minneapolis Police Department to Minneapolis Guardians. So now when the violent cops beat you they can claim they’re guarding from yourself! [COVER 3] Reform can’t happen from within because they will get rid of the reformers, just like they did with chief Cizanckas. Revolutionary ideas are harder to ignore.
But more than that you can’t reform a system that is still as racist as its origins. As recent as 2017, Police Departments in cities like Sacramento and Portland, OR have been using white supremacist and neo-Nazi groups to help quell anti-racist protests! And after the Trump Inauguration, activists were put on trial for “inciting violence”! Look at the difference in treatment of the lockdown protesters with guns that showed up on the Capitol steps versus the calls for respecting Black lives! The Slave Patrol lives on and has no intention of reforming its ways because it is and will continue to be the vigilantes hired by the rich to protect their stuff.
Krish Mohan is a socially conscious, Indian standup comedian and writer who regularly tours the country. He performs at small theaters, bars, comedy clubs, colleges, DIY and house venues. With his quirky attitude, charming personality, and intelligent humor, Krish captivates and engages audiences of all backgrounds, tackling hot button topics like race, religion, war, immigration, while adding an optimistic, philosophical & sociological twist!