The Immigration Custom Enforcement, or ICE, is finally doing what we’ve all been waiting for them to do; go to school. Unfortunately it’s not the type of school we’d like them to attended where they learn the history of American Imperialism, the strength of labor unions and understand the true meaning of compassion and friendship and also Christmas. This school is one they are running called the “Citizens Academy”, which is a 6 week course that includes training for regular citizens on arresting undocumented immigrants. This is great because now this means we’ve turned vigilantes into immigrant hunting slaves…I mean students.
Chicago ICE Field Director Robert Guadian says this is “the first of its kind”. Obviously this guys needs to watch the History Channel more often, because the American Military has been training citizens to hunt and kill brown people for a decades now! The only difference here is that this is happening within American borders, which means we’re finally bringing Freedoms back home, by ensuring the working class cages itself! What fun!
According to Guadian this training at the Citizens Academy would be in “defensive tactics, firearms familiarization and targeted arrests!” Oh good, we’re going to arm them so that these student vigilantes can really express themselves with their Second Amendment as they go in and arrest unarmed immigrants. This is great because now finally the American racist will learn how to write “Go back to your own country” with a semi-automatic weapon! The upside is that more people will now be literate. The down side is that the only way we can communicate in a ICE run world is by shooting notes into the walls of a minority’s home.
But it’s ok because Chicago ICE Director Robert Guidian has said this is going to be done in a “safe and positive environment”. Safe & Positive for whom exactly? Robert Guidian sounds like the guy that tries to hook up with a chick at the party but gets mad at her for not bringing a condom. He wants it safe and positive and this lady ruined everything and now must be arrested by the rest of fraternity.
The point of this is to humanize ICE agents as they dehumanize immigrants. In the preview for the show “Immigration Nation” on Netflix, one of the supervisors refers to immigrants that are not on the wanted list as “collateral” and how they need apprehend more immigrants so they should arrest the “collateral”. Guadian talks about how he wants people see the humanitarian efforts of ICE. Funny, I didn’t know that you need to wear a bullet proof vest and kick someone’s door down, detain them in a jail cell, deny them legal aid to do humanitarian work. Here I thought it was to help those that had fallen on hard times, but really I was supposed to abuse the ever living shit out of them.
He also talks about how he wants to show the outreach ICE does in the community. Now I’ve had to deal some variation of Immigration bureaucracy in my life as an immigrant in America and at no point do I remember an ICE agent trying to raise funds for an immigrant’s trial or offer them a place to stay or help them find a job or figure out how to get legal documentation. They are the armed, militarized wing of the broken American Immigration system and they’re waging a war on our streets. And now with this “Citizens Academy” they’ve drafted and deputized the most closed minded members of society to their dirty work.
This is not going to fix anything. It’s not going to humanize the department. It’s going to create more xenophobic, racist violence towards immigrants. Immigrants who are just trying to live their lives, feed their families and build a better future for their kids. ICE agents are complaining that they’re being compared Nazis and the SS and there’s a simple way to prevent that. Stop acting like Nazis. Look I don’t want to be called an Imperialist. So I don’t go and invade countries I have no business being in, I don’t fund coups to take over governments and I don’t bomb weddings. It’s rather simple.
And I’m not the only one that thinks this is going to increase the amount of violence we’ll see in our streets. Congressman Jesus ‘Chuy’ Garcia has the same complaints and so does The St. Louis Interfaith Community. ICE’s stance on this is that the misunderstandings are why the Academy needs to be in place. So basically at best it’s a 6 week propaganda program to push anti-immigrant narratives and at worse its a full on War Against Immigrants using fear and hate from the American Citizens at it’s core.
America is a big fan of its wars so why it bring them home and find new ways to militarize its populace. This not a system that can be reformed. It needs to be transformed, and it can start by Abolishing the Militarized Immigrant Police we call ICE.
Krish Mohan is a socially conscious, Indian standup comedian and writer who regularly tours the country. He performs at small theaters, bars, comedy clubs, colleges, DIY and house venues. With his quirky attitude, charming personality, and intelligent humor, Krish captivates and engages audiences of all backgrounds, tackling hot button topics like race, religion, war, immigration, while adding an optimistic, philosophical & sociological twist!