General Strike. This isn’t the name of another Confederate General, who’s statue we have to take down or graffito-tag with the word ‘FUCKWIT RACIST’! General Strikes are a massive tactic employed by the labor movement when the bosses don’t negotiate and delegitimize unions. It’s when Unions and workers from every industry and line of employment stand together to ensure that equal human rights are achieved for everyone! It’s the ultimate demonstration of solidarity among the working class and the scares the hell out of the oligarchs.
In the age of the Quarantine, we’ve seen over 1000 strikes in America since March 2020, according to PayDay Report! These include Wildcat Strikes – which are when employees walk off their jobs, and not when workers pretend to a jaguar from the Amazon as some of us thought they were – Sick outs, solidarity protest with the Black Lives Matter movement, rent strikes and various other coordinated actions! On May Day we saw actions in 48 states which was the launching pad to get us to a General Strike, that included striking against corporations and much much more.
Employees of GE demonstrated to stop building jet engines and shift their efforts to make protective equipment like ventilators and masks for the healthcare industry. The bosses at GE clutched their pearls and demanded the workers stop being Communist. Don’t forget folks that logic and intelligence shackles your freedom, but the bosses shackling you to do repetitive tasks for little to no pay is what a soaring bald eagle feels like! Liberty is only achieved when you do what you’re told and lick all of the boots! The more boots you lick the more liberty points you get and the closer you get to becoming a bald eagle, which is the American Dream!
In Pittsburgh & New Orleans Sanitation workers went on strike to get hazard pay, paid sick leave and protective equipment like masks and gloves. Their reasoning was simple, they have to pick up the literal trash of people during a pandemic and that’s a necessary but dangerous job, so they deserve to be protected and paid right. And they even said they want to do the job. It’s not like the strike started with them screaming “We shall no longer pick up after your half eaten hot pockets and used condoms! We demand that we get the Tony Stark’s Iron Man armor from Iron Man 3, which was the film where he made the most amount of Iron Men!”
Also fellas, learn to dispose of condoms the right way. Wrap that shit up in a 2-3 tissues so nothing’s leaking! We’re an evolved species, we should start acting like it! Like Jesus said “Wrap it before you tap it, but also wrap the wrap after!” That was right after he for sure banged Mary Magdalene.
The Democratic Mayor of Pittsburgh said virtually nothing while not giving into the workers demands. In New Orleans the workers were fired and replaced by prisoners to do the work and paid them pennies on the dollar. The Mayor’s response was “Listen…the economy” and he drop the mic and made a prisoner recycle it!
Most of these strikes were not covered by Mainstream, Corporate Media. And if these strikes are covered by the corporate media it’s met with confusion and rage. “Why would someone not want to work for living!? I mean these bosses are making them cover their own healthcare and equipment, paying them virtually nothing, have strict corporate rules that gives budding dictators new ideas, ban organizing, which all kinda makes the word ‘work’ sound like a joke! BUT what could they possibly complain about when their work is making some trust-fund kid even richer?! These workers are just being selfish for not giving into the greed to the uber-rich!”
The strikers are not asking over the top demands. They’re asking for basic human rights. On May Day, the demands of the collective strike effort was asking for better consideration of employee health & safety, livable wages, protective gear, and deep cleaning of facilities. But the CEOs of these corporations look at this like it’s the some act of pure insanity!
The strikers say: “We want healthcare!”
The CEOs respond: “That’s the moon! You’re basically asking for the moon!”
The strikers say: “We’d like a livable wage that can help us keep up with rising rents, cost of food and water!”
The CEOs respond: “Now you’re just asking for the rings of Saturn itself! What do you think I’m made of money!?”
The strikers say: “I mean kinda yeah. You just made like $24 billion, which is kinda like replacing your molecules with cash. We’d also like corporate transparency!”
The CEOs respond: Now you’re just asking for Pluto to be a planet and I can’t change the laws of the universe, for I am but one man or woman, because greed knows no gender! Very progressive this greed!”
The Republicans have called Striking workers “lazy” and have basically come out said human rights don’t belong in the workplace, just like women. People have the right to work and that’s about it. It’s the legislative equivalent of “you time to lean, then you got time to clean!” Human Rights apparently also don’t belong in the streets either and neither do women. They belong in your mind. According to Republicans, human rights are a made up, intangible concept that’s very much open to interpretation. Now everyone please open your bibles…
The Democrats on the other hand placated to the working class. They called them “essential workers”. They threw up banners that said “Heroes work here!” On a legislative level they failed as they declined Medicare For All, ignored a Universal Basic Income and then went on vacation. They did pass increased unemployment for little bit and offered a payment of $1200. But a ton of people fell through the cracks and didn’t receive either. Like sex workers, who don’t qualify for any of the benefits because of a morality clause in the bailout bill and the “prurient sexual nature” of their job. But wait, the banks the got bailed out after Congresspeople Deep Throated the Wall Street Bull’s balls, isn’t that “prurient sexual nature”? And I don’t think they had the bull’s consent.
But it’s cool you guys, because the Democrats did approve a $1.32 million display of American Exceptionalism by flying fighter jets in honor of healthcare workers…sorry healthcare heroes! Heroes don’t need to get paid as much because they’re doing it for the love of the game! You think Spider-Man’s cashing a check? No! He’s working 3 other jobs so he can be passionate about saving lives! As my friend Eleanor Goldfield points out “sex sells, but war pays” [Cover] Who doesn’t get hot and bothered when we see an ad with a bossomy lady riding a bomb! Buy that bomb because your boner demands it!
But remember that lady sees nothing from the bomb sales because she’s a godless whore! America is a Christian Nation, where the sanctity – emphasis on titty – of life is valued! Look we in America cherish life by running an economy on creating weapons that regulate that life by murdering a lot of it!
This is what happens when you run an economy on War and fuel it with anti-intellectualism and Nationalistic Pride. $1.32 million could’ve paid for 66 ventilators, over a million masks or an additional 1100 people could’ve received $1200. When legislation declines worker safety and rights you have engaged deeply with Disaster Capitalism and that’s why a nationwide General strikes are absolutely necessary.
Krish Mohan is a socially conscious, Indian standup comedian and writer who regularly tours the country. He performs at small theaters, bars, comedy clubs, colleges, DIY and house venues. With his quirky attitude, charming personality, and intelligent humor, Krish captivates and engages audiences of all backgrounds, tackling hot button topics like race, religion, war, immigration, while adding an optimistic, philosophical & sociological twist!