Biden Manufactures Consent For More Wars! [The Dispatch]
Joe Biden takes a cue from his predecessors, a wannabe fascist, Donald Trump & sweet talkin’ young black neoliberal, Barack Obama, who I’m pretty sure he called ‘boy’ a few times. Which cue? Well the cue to say we’re getting the troops out of Afghanistan! Strike up the ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner and get Biden and Bush on an episode of Ellen together because we’re wiping the blood of their stained hands on national television with some awkward, uncoordinated dancing folks!
Ok before we start celebrating and replacing photos of Jesus, Buddha, Vishnu & Oprah with a one of Joe Biden smelling a child’s hairs as if to steal their essence, this withdrawal of troops Afghanistan is actually being pushed back a few months. Originally it was supposed to happen on May 1st, 2021, after Trump had struck a deal with Taliban, but Joe Biden just didn’t see that happening.
Joey B’s got wars to start, not to end them. Hell we’ve re-engaged in Syria and if things go according to plan we’ll attack Iran soon enough and the day that happens, 30 years worth of jism will erupt out of Mike Pompeo. I’m sorry for putting that image into your brains, but I feel even worse for Pompeo’s housekeeper. Biden wants to pull out troops by September 11th, 2021…just about 20 years since the invasion and occupation of Afghanistan!
Obviously this is to mark a date on the calendar and turn September 11th into another holiday where we spend money on hokey merchandise. It’ll be the day we triumphed over terror and found freedom was making eye contact with a Biden-esque Eagle. But like an infomercial, conditions do apply.
Senior Biden officials are claiming the pull-out will be “condition-based”! This is the same rationale horny teenagers…and adults, use for not wearing a condom. It’s condition based! Wrap it before you tap it and always reject US imperialism. And yes I’m saying that US Imperialism is the equivalent of raw dogging a stranger in a nightclub bathroom because the opportunity presented itself or you manufactured consent to do so. Biden also claimed this was a “recipe to stay in Afghanistan forever”.
And that has always been the plan! There has never been an exit strategy to get out of Afghanistan. America wants to be the lingering figure in the background of Afghanis lives till time stops. Its like when the Principal would come into your class to evaluate the teacher. You just try and pretend they’re not there, but you know they are. And for some reason the Principal is pointing a bazooka at all the kids. That’s literally only plan America had for Afghanistan.
They’re already manufacturing consent to stay past their 3rd deadline of withdrawing troops from Afghanistan. Republican Representative Adam Kinzer says the US should stay in Afghanistan to keep China from accessing the country’s mineral wealth. And we can’t forget to mention the billions of dollars worth of Department of Defense contracts to over 17 war profiteers! So it’s Capitalism’s two favorite excuses to continue violating human rights & being for a force of death and destruction: The Red Scare & the Economy!
But that’s not the story corporate media, aka the propaganda wing of America’s War Economy, wants us to focus on. The reason they claim America needs to extend its stay in Afghanistan is to “protect women’s rights”. Center For Strategic & International Studies, or CSIS, says the condition based withdrawal needs to be focused on ensuring the advancement of women’s rights in Afghanistan. CSIS is funded by Northrup Grumman, Boeing, ExxonMobil, Chevron & Saudi Aramaco. I’m pretty sure we should taking anything CSIS says on a conditional basis, especially since they’re funded by organizations that could care less about women’s rights. They’re more about profiting from destruction; the destruction of human life and the planet!
The rhetoric and spin is all about protecting women’s rights from the big bad oppressive governments in the Middle East. But in reality America is one the responsible for putting women’s rights in jeopardy in Afghanistan. Back in the 70s Afghanistan was a Socialist Nation. They upheld women’s rights, their education system was thriving & didn’t discriminate and their minimum wage was higher than America’s. Not just that but the peasants were land owners and they had stronger, more legitimate unions!
This was the exact opposite of what America believed in. In the 70s, womenfolks weren’t meant to be in school or working. They were meant to be in the kitchen…or at the disco. And when they were at the disco longer than deemed appropriate, American Imperialism killed disco. Unions were demonized, much like they are today! Companies like Amazon use Cold-War rhetoric like saying workers will loose their jobs and their livelihoods for even thinking of Unions. They remind workers that in Communist countries, the Unions organize you! Dammit that’s exactly what they do! And when you say it out loud, it’s doesn’t sound so bad.
The government of Afghanistan was working with Russia at that time, which mean that America’s Red Scare was going to take those fools down. So America sold weapons to and trained the Mushahadin, the organization that would become the Taliban. That’s right, America supported the anti-woman, anti-worker, dictatorial gang in order to overthrow a functioning country that took care of its people. But when Russia decided to take a step back from Afghanistan, the hope was the US would too.
And eventually they would, but not before the CIA armed these guys to the teeth to make Afghanistan a failed state run by Warlords and the Taliban. Remember the gaol is to control the oil, minerals and natural resources of the country before the Commie boogie-man does. Americans sold out the functioning Socialist Democracy for a pipeline & control of opium farms.
So in reality none of this is about women’s rights. IF it was, they wouldn’t have wrecked a nation and allowed warlords to take over and they’d disavow Saudi Arabia, who’s monarchy has been abhorrent when it comes to women’s or any human’s rights! Or they’d push back when Republicans in America take away necessary services for low income women with lies, propaganda and withholding of information.As Representative Kinzer mentioned it’s about getting their minerals and natural resources. It’s about making sure the weapon’s contractors don’t get mad about losing billions of dollars and loosing the one thing that gets them aroused – death and destruction.
No wonder Americas have such as unhealthy obsession with serial killers. We prop them up as titans of industry and role models! CEOs of companies like Lockheed Martin, Raytheon & General Dynamics are just as sadistic as Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy and of the like.
But after all this, let’s give Biden the benefit of the doubt and say he does withdraw troops the 2500 troops in Afghanistan by September 11th of this year. He probably won’t be moving the additional CIA, special forces & mercenary personnel out of the country. Neither will it loose the additional 6500 other NATO forces that will be staying put as well. Not only that, there’s nothing saying that they won’t drone bomb the country either. And with our record of drone bombings, it looks like Afghanistan shouldn’t have weddings for a while.
Regardless of the out of this plan, the people that have been victimized by US Imperialism the most in Afghanistan are the Afghani people! They’re the ones who had their democracies stolen from them through American fear mongering and need to sell weapons to the enemy. As most of Congress would say, “won’t someone please think of the economy!” They’re are the ones demonized for an act of terror they didn’t commit. Most Afghanis didn’t even know what the World Trade Center was! There were no Afghanis on the plane either. And the Afghani people are the ones suffering the consequences of war. No healthcare, clean water and lack of food.
Meanwhile Dick Cheney has 6 hearts, all the Dasani he wants and steak fed to him by a Malaysian prostitute the Bush family gifted him.
There shouldn’t any applauses or dance breaks for this news. There should solidarity from the working class in America with the working class in Afghanistan. The working class are ones that go fight the rich man’s war. So now is the time that we stop. If the rich want to plunder a country for their resources and create failed states then they should go it on their own, not off the backs of the global working class!
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About The Author
Krish Mohan
Krish Mohan is a socially conscious, Indian standup comedian and writer who regularly tours the country. He performs at small theaters, bars, comedy clubs, colleges, DIY and house venues. With his quirky attitude, charming personality, and intelligent humor, Krish captivates and engages audiences of all backgrounds, tackling hot button topics like race, religion, war, immigration, while adding an optimistic, philosophical & sociological twist!